Carve out your life. Carve out your dream. Leave your mark on the world!

I have had a phenomenal month. I can’t even begin to describe how man doors have opened up this month. So many things happening and taking off. Producing wise, acting wise, reel ladies, and so much more. 

My spirit feels like it’s on fire sometimes. Like it’s too big for my body. 
Stretching, reaching…
Events that are happening and doors that are opening up have just been keeping me in awe and humbled. Little ole me. Who am I?? I look out at the universe sometimes and am enthralled. To see life, to see stars, clouds, to feel the sun on my face, to feel the wind caress my skin, to stretch out my arms and reach for the heavens. Who am I? There’s a shift in me, in my spirit. 

I had a GREAT, UNEXPECTED, BLESSED meeting a few days ago, that I’ve just had to sit on it and not speak about it to anyone but mom and hubby. Scared to jinx it I suppose but I swore them to secrecy and the threat of cutting off toes if they spill the beans and mess up the positive energy that’s flowing. Cuz there are some haters out there people and you have to be careful who you tell your good news to!

I mailed off some headshots and compcards and postcards and updates like I always do. But this time, I decided to mail off to some powerhouses. I told myself “What’s the worst that could happen? They won’t call?”

So I am chilling at home on the computer a few days later, getting things lined up for reel ladies when my phone rings. I get a call from a powerhouse in the industry who has done some phenomenal things and worked with SUPERSTAR CELEBRITIES. It’s not his assistant, but the man himself. He tells me to come down to his office. Mind you, I only have 2 hours to get there by the designated time. But God is soooo frikkin good that I was there, ready to go! Now, I did have to sit outside the office for about a good 20 minutes to calm my nerves and to pray that I wouldn’t fall apart in front of this man! LOL!!

Anywhoo, go in, we chat, he tells me to come back. Not one meeting but a second one!! WHAAAAAT!

He tells me at the very end of the convo “The ball is in your court Nikki Love”.

Well I guess it is!

CROSSED FINGERS AND A PRAYER! There’s a shift going on. I will keep you guys posted.

To be continued…

Arizona

I went on a roadtrip recently. Packed up the car and the dog and headed East! LOL! I drove my trusty Toyota to Chicago. Something on my spirit was moving me to GO! I knew I needed this alone time, 36 hours on the road there adn 36 hours on the road back. Just ME, MYSELF and I! And people, I must say it was ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!

Looking at the mountains, the rivers, the valleys and the hills. OMG!

When I hit Arizona, I pulled over so many times my dog was looking at me like I was crazy. I would pull over when I saw the sign that said “Viewing Area, 1 Mile”. And would sit. And look. And cry. And pray.

Hand Carved by God

If He can create and carve majestic (STAGNANT!) things such as a mountain, what more can He do for my life? What can he carve out of MY LIFE? Out of flesh and blood. YOU TELL ME!

There was this one spot, literally I was speechless. I sat on top of a mountain and looked out at a desert. I looked at boulders and canyons and watched the sun move across the sky. LIL OLE ME!

Since this trip, I now understand the saying “My eyes have seen the Glory”.

You realize how small but how special YOUR LIFE is. How some things are so minute that you can’t believe how BIG we make certain issues. How some things are from God and we completely discard it. How blessings are JUST FOR YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR BEING, YOUR SOUL and we fear them. 

Denver 8am

Me n Mocha

The Grand Scheme of Things

“Without GOD, you can not. Without YOU, He will not”.

Be blessed people.

Anywhoo, I’m watching, I’m drinking my wine, I’m inspired. And then Chris Rock asks the question, “Where’s the next Barbara Streisand?…I want to meet that woman!”

Damn.

That’s all there is to say about that. Cuz all I could do was cry. Who’s going to be the writer, the director, the producer, the actress…

Who’s going to step up to the plate? 

There has been this soft whisper in my head. Wakes me up at 3am. Keeps me from going to sleep at 11pm. Softly, faintly, a stirring in the spirit. “Are you ready?”

I can be driving home from work and here that question. “Are you ready?”

In the words of Joan of Arc…..”I was born ready”

This is when that psychotic ambition kicks in. When my dreams get bigger, when my goals expand and reach beyond the stratosphere!

I put it in my newsletter last week. When you wish upon a star, which star are you wishing upon? I’m wishing on the star that hasn’t even born yet people! LOL! (look it up, stars are born and they die)

I’m wishing on a star that isn’t even in this galaxy. I’m wishing on the particles that haven’t even gathered together yet to create the energy to give birth to this star!!!!

Unrealistic is what someone told me. “My, you do dream big” in the words of an older woman. If I don’t, WHO WILL?

You know what email they send to me:

We are contacting you because our approval team has been busy reviewing many submissions and hasn’t had time to examine your new title yet. This is likely due to one of the following reasons:

Your title is lacking significant information
Other titles have been given higher priority because they supplied more information than yours.

PLEASE NOTE that your title has not been explicitly rejected as nobody has even looked at it yet…..

New titles are processed in order of priority. This means that the more data you submit with your title (credits, screening, links, etc..)the higher priority is given..

Now let me tell you how retarded that is. If they HAVEN’T EVEN LOOKED AT IT, how do they know that I DIDN’T supply all the information???! Because links, screenings, festivals, cast, crew, etc…has ALL been added!!

Then when I tried sending an email to their support team asking if I provided all that information what is the problem, they SEND ME THE SAME EMAIL BACK!

One of my IMDB credits (Tears of a Clown) has 3 items listed about it, and the new credits have waaaay more information.

Fucking backwards, I swear!

I have two films in festivals right now and I can’t even get a fucking credit for them! I have 2 feature length films about to be released and I can’t event get a fucking credit for them either.

And when I talked to the producers and asked if they have tried submitting to IMDB, guess what they tell me????? YEP, IMDB sent them the same frikkin email!

What kind of world do we live in when an actress can’t even get her credits posted?!!! The world is a dark and twisted place I tell ya.

Lord give me strength!

She starts class off saying that she did something radical and “DeGunked”. Got rid of some things that were cluttering up her brain.

So then she asks a few people what their “Gunk” is.

And I’m sitting there in awe and feeling like this was my confirmation.

I had just put in my notice to terminate my 9-5 job in Westlake Village. Like I’ve said before, I like my job, but it’s a job. 

And since working there, I haven’t been able to put as much time and energy into my own stuff. 

So when I hear Amy talking about “Degunking”, it just stirred in my heart. Getting rid of gunk in your brain, in your schedule, in your home. Freeing up junk. Things that are taking up unnecessary space. 

And the funny part is that as soon as I put in my notice, I’ve had 3 auditions in one week. I FEEL the possibilities of the future. I FEEL my energy, my focus, shifting. And it is good.

In the words of Amy Lyndon “I’ve degunked, and now I feel JUICY!” 

Same here people. I feel the juices flowing.

So the short film I acted in, “A Baby Away”, has been doing really good hitting the festival market.

It is now currently the official selection at the Hollywood Black Film Festival, San Francisco Black Film Festival, AND Martha’s Vineyard Black Film Festival!!

WOW! I’m impressed.

Finally got my reel updated (including a scene from A Baby Away), you can check it out on my site and of course MySpace and YouTube!!

Had my screening for the feature film “Losing Faith” that premiered. At first I was really nervous because I hadn’t seen the finished project, but came out REALLY GOOD!! I’m excited. Going to be hitting festivals soon!

Finally heard back from the producers of “No Answer”, they are anticipating completion by the end of the summer

So I’m still plugging along, so far so good.

Teaming up with a friend of mine to get some movies green lit and slated. Just gonna hammer them out!!!

Might be signing with the agency The Gage Group, crossed fingers.

So that’s what’s up with Nikki Love. Nothing new.

On another note. I have been pondering on this concept of eternity.

If Eternity is everlasting, doesn’t that mean that we are in it right now?! And if we are in the middle of eternity, endless time until the Lord sees fit, we are just these beings on a tiny tiny spectrum of the timeline. What are you doing with your time? Are you wasting it or utilizing it?

Eternity is such an awesome concept is it not? This universe has been in existence for billions of years, and here we are. At THIS time, at THIS place, with THESE people surrounding us. Why now? Why weren’t you designed and roaming the earth 100 years ago, why not 10,000 years ago…

FOR SOME GODLY REASON, you are designed to be the person you are RIGHT NOW on this neverending spin through space on the timeline of “eternity”….

How amazing and awesome is that??

hmmm….

So when I finally decided to stop being so negative and just keep doing what I’m doing things started panning out a little.

I am now SAG Eligible! YAY about damn time!

I have my feature film “Losing Faith” screening next week.

“A Baby Away”, a short film by Courtney Franklin, has been accepted into the Hollywood Black Film Festival (which is next month) AND the San Francisco Black Film Festival (next month)! Yes, I was the lead! And so me and Courtney are going to head up to San Fran and make it do what we do…

REEL Ladies has been frikking soaring and I can’t wait to post pictures from event the other night. We’ve got some fantastic ladies lined up. We have featured Jennifer Schaefer, who was amazing, Amy Lyndon, which I have GOT to get into her Booking Class (www.coldreadingclasses.com), Andrea Wiley, who will just give you goose bumps, and much more. Make sure you check it out. And our radio show is now a FEATURED show on Blog Talk Radio. YAY!

So yes, I am excited. Now if I could just FINISH THE FRIKKIN SCRIPT!!!

but hey, whaddya gonna do? can’t have everything…

Been trying to hustle. Trying to line some things up for Scrapbooks, so far it’s looking good. I have to worke on my music clearances, and I could possibly get distribution and/or have it aired on tv. We’ll see. *prayer and crossed fingers*.

It’s been a lot going on, I’m just trying to keep up! 

Work and film, film and work. I have an audition on Monday. I hope, no I NEED to book this!

Good news is that a film that I was in, A Baby Away, got accepted into the Hollywood Black Film Festival, so I’m excited about that! Written, Produced, & Directed by Courtney Franklin. I was the lead, so of course that adds to the excitement. 

Going to Vegas in 2 weeks. Yaaaay! Cuz I need a break, goodness. I have been having cramps in my neck, can’t really sleep and busting my ass at work. I’m exhausted.

I’m trying to change my attitude of late. I’ve been real hard on myself, but if I’M not, who will be? Nobody else can put pressure on me, nobody else can motivate me to get off my ass. Nobody is gonna hustle for me. So I gotta do it myself. I had come to the realization that “I get out, what I put in”. Which means if I put doubt and negativity out there, that’s exactly what’s going to come back to me.

So guess I need to step my game up!

What 2 women can do. I think we lost some of our audience because we did it in Inglewood. Hell, I know I JUST started going out there myself!! And that’s only to the cafe!! LOL

So we are going to move it to a more central location. Went and networked and passed out some of our fliers at the Sisters Doing it for Themselves and SWAN Day with the Alliance of Women Directors.

Anywhoo, I am inspired. I feel like my mojo had diminished some, but I see it coming back.

Sometimes the dream is soooo frikkin tangible and sometimes it’s so distant.

I’ve been exhausted. I have 2 scripts to finish and I’ve been stuck. My brain has been racing too much, I can’t focus. I sit down to write and nothing…*sigh*

I feel like I am back at that place again, where I am pouring my energy into the wrong things. Like An Empowered Woman. Don’t get me wrong. I like that job, but hell…IT’S A JOB!

If I had the choice, of course I want to work for myself. I want to act. I want to model…”Mama, I Wants to SANG!!” LOL

So it’s a constant battle. Get up go to work. Collect a paycheck. Hustle for REEL Ladies, Hustle for JNL Media. Hustle for Nikki Love…all on the side!

Don’t want MY projects to be on the side. That’s just craziness to me. But bills gotta get paid, rent is due!! So mama has to hustle.

Keep striving, keep moving, keep dreaming, keep hustling, keep putting one foot in front of the other. REEL Ladies has inspired me. Talking to these women, have inspired me. I’m in awe.

Make sure you check out our REEL LADIES BLOG.