Psychotic Ambition

The past two weeks I have been busy getting REEL Ladies networking off the ground. We had our first networking mixer at the ladera chess cafe, it went great! Me and keena had originally said, “okay, if we get 20 women to come out, then we have something”. But then like 75 had RSVP’d so we freaked out and had to go rent chairs and buy all this extra shit, but of course only like 30 showed up. We had candles, wine, food, and Miss Angela Gibbs. She shared her journey with the ladies. How she hit roadblocks as a filmmaker and an actress. It was amazing.

What 2 women can do. I think we lost some of our audience because we did it in Inglewood. Hell, I know I JUST started going out there myself!! And that’s only to the cafe!! LOL

So we are going to move it to a more central location. Went and networked and passed out some of our fliers at the Sisters Doing it for Themselves and SWAN Day with the Alliance of Women Directors.

Anywhoo, I am inspired. I feel like my mojo had diminished some, but I see it coming back.

Sometimes the dream is soooo frikkin tangible and sometimes it’s so distant.

I’ve been exhausted. I have 2 scripts to finish and I’ve been stuck. My brain has been racing too much, I can’t focus. I sit down to write and nothing…*sigh*

I feel like I am back at that place again, where I am pouring my energy into the wrong things. Like An Empowered Woman. Don’t get me wrong. I like that job, but hell…IT’S A JOB!

If I had the choice, of course I want to work for myself. I want to act. I want to model…”Mama, I Wants to SANG!!” LOL

So it’s a constant battle. Get up go to work. Collect a paycheck. Hustle for REEL Ladies, Hustle for JNL Media. Hustle for Nikki Love…all on the side!

Don’t want MY projects to be on the side. That’s just craziness to me. But bills gotta get paid, rent is due!! So mama has to hustle.

Keep striving, keep moving, keep dreaming, keep hustling, keep putting one foot in front of the other. REEL Ladies has inspired me. Talking to these women, have inspired me. I’m in awe.

Make sure you check out our REEL LADIES BLOG.

I don’t want to capture your attention. I want to rip it from you and leave you breathless. - Marliese Leitner  MM#531941

 I saw this quote on Model Mayhem. Kinda struck me. Marinate on that one for a minute.

Leave you breathless. You won’t forget me.  You will remember.

To capture someone’s attention. What does that mean?

 Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This

cap·ture      /ˈkæptʃər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kap-cher] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -tured, -tur·ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1.	to take by force or stratagem; take prisoner; seize: The police captured the burglar.

2.	to gain control of or exert influence over: an ad that captured our attention; a TV show that captured 30% of the prime-time audience.

3.	to take possession of, as in a game or contest: to capture a pawn in chess.

4.	to represent or record in lasting form: The movie succeeded in capturing the atmosphere of Berlin in the 1930s.

5.	Computers. a. to enter (data) into a computer for processing or storage. b. to record (data) in preparation for such entry.

Not only do they look, notice, stop a sec, but you hold their notice. For a few seconds, a few minutes, something about you, what you look like, your personality, your heart, your soul, your words, your actions, held someone’s attention. And if you can leave that person breathless, then damn that’s powerful.  Who or what do you give your attention to? What holds you? What moves you? What do you dwell in?
What takes your breath away?? What makes you pause in your step, in your thoughts? What makes you so excited that you have to catch your breath?

And the simple fact that human beings, your soul, your spirit, has the ability to reach out to another person, and “capture their attention” and “leave them breathless” is like WOW.

A lot of times, beauty, the abnormal, the strange, the loud, the surreal, will capture someones attention. Makes you a double take, take a second glance. But breathless??

Maybe a sunset, maybe the way i see a tree blowing, gazing up at mountains. Those things leave me breathless. But a person?

Are we open to people? Do we give people a chance to leave us breathless, or do we just bypass their spirits?

I need to sit on that one for a bit longer.